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# Humor in der Mathematik

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Q: Why is the number 10 afraid of seven?
A: Because seven ate nine.

Q: Do you know the new joke about statistics?
A: Probably.

Q: Why didn't Newton discover group theory?
A: Because he wasn't Abel.

Q: I have Math problems. What can I do?
A: Call 1-800-[(10x)(13i)^2]-[sin(xy)/2.362x]

Q: What kind of insect is good at math?
A: The account-ant

Q: What is the oddest prime?
A: 2, because it is even.

Q: how many times can you subtract 7 from 83, and what is left afterwards?
A: I can subtract it as many times as I want, and it leaves 76 every time.

Q: Why do Mathematicians mix up Halloween and Xmas?
A: Because Oct 31 = Dec 25

Q: What's the contour integral around Western Europe?
A: Zero, because all the Poles are in Eastern Europe!
Addendum: Actually, there ARE some Poles in Western Europe, but they are removable!

Q: What is a compact city?
A: It's a city that can be guarded by finitely many near-sighted policemen!

Q: Do you believe in one God?
A: Yes, up to isomorphism!

Q: Why did the mathematician name his dog "Cauchy"?
A: Because he left a residue at every pole.

Q: What do a mathematician and a physicist have in common?
A: They are both stupid, with the exception of the mathematician.

Q: Why did the chicken cross the Moebius strip?
A: To get to the other ... er, um ...

Q: What do you get if you cross an elephant with a zebra.
A: |Elephant|*|zebra|*sin(theta) in a direction mutually perpendicular to the two as determined by the right hand rule..

Q: What do you get if you cross an elephant with a mountain climber.
A: You can't do that. A mountain climber is a scalar.

Q: Did you hear about the confused Mathematician?
A: He was solving for X but he didn't know Y.

Q: To what question is the answer "9W."
A: "Dr. Wiener, do you spell your name with a V?"

Q: What is a topologist?
A: A man who doesn't know the difference between a coffee cup and a doughnut.

Q: What is a statistician?
A: That is a man who can have his head in an oven and his feet in ice and who can still say that on the average he feels fine.

Q: How many kinds of people are there in the world?
A: Three: Those who can count and those who can't.

Q: What is the world's longest song?
A: "Aleph-nought Bottles of Beer on the Wall."

Q: What's yellow and equivalent to the Axiom of Choice.
A: Zorn's Lemon.

Q: What is black and white and fills the plane?
A: A Piano curve

Q: What's non-orientable and lives in the sea?
A: Mobius Dick.

Q: What's purple and commutes?
A: An abelian grape.

Q: What does (x-a)(x-b)(x-c)...(x-z) equal?
A: [Hint: check out the 24th factor].

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